Merry Christmas

December 24, 2022

This Christmas season has been one of the busiest in a long time for me. I had intended to get a letter out early in the month, yet here we are, Christmas Eve, and I’m only now getting my thoughts down. The thing is, if I had written at the beginning of the month, this post would be very different. While I was busily working on getting my house ready for our annual Christmas party for my husband’s staff, I heard a new-to-me Christmas song from Andrew Peterson’s album, Behold the Lamb. The song is titled “Labor of Love,” and one line really hit me in the feels.

“And little Mary full of grace

with tears upon her face

had no mother’s hand to hold.”

I’ve known all my life that Mary gave birth to Jesus in a stable, and that it’s likely Joseph performed the part of a midwife. But I guess my mama’s heart wrenched at that final part of this verse that says she had no mother’s hand to hold. Today most women have their babies surrounded by strangers, but those strangers are doctors and nurses who are trained to bring babies into the world. Back in Mary’s day, it was common for mamas to be there along with grandmas and aunts and cousins and sisters. Mary was neither the first nor the last woman to go through childbirth without her mother by her side, but that detail in the song put me in Mary’s shoes in a whole new way. I don’t know how much Joseph knew about bringing a child into the world. I’m going to guess not much. He was a carpenter, after all, not a farmer or shepherd who was at least familiar with animal births. He must have had an assurance that the Baby would be fine since He was the Son of God. But Joseph couldn’t know the mother, his betrothed, the woman he’d chosen to be his wife, would make it. What a responsibility thrust into his work-worn hands. Maybe both Mary and Joseph were calm and unafraid because of their faith. I like to think so.

The Baby boy we celebrate on Christmas made the ultimate sacrifice, and it was His that made the real difference. If not for His death and resurrection 33 years later, we wouldn’t know Mary and Joseph’s names or the account of the birth in a stable. But this song made me contemplate on how many sacrifices were made so I could gain salvation. It’s rather humbling. 

May the Light of that first Christmas bless you and yours this Christmas and guide you throughout the new year.

Merry Christmas!

Lessons from Daniel

Last evening as my household and I grieved the same kind of election results in Brazil as the US saw in 2020, I couldn’t help but think about the prophet Daniel. 

We’ve recently been going through Daniel’s prophecies during a zoom Sunday service my husband holds with his family in Brazil. What stands out about Daniel’s situation is how relevant it is to ours today. He witnessed the overthrow of many governments in his long life. As a youth he saw the conquest of his homeland and was forced into the service of the conquering king. God’s favor elevated Daniel to a high position in the Babylonian government. He saw Nebuchadnezzar, who was impressed with Daniel, diminished to a sick little animal but later restored. He saw the defeat and destruction of his overlords, the Babylonians, when the Medo-Persians took power. He faced change after change after change, but his heart never wavered from God’s ways. God was on Daniel’s side because Daniel was on God’s side

In his old age, Daniel was given a vision of the defeat of the Medo-Persian empire, which hadn’t even come to power yet. God showed him what would happen to the children of Israel after that empire fell to the Greeks. After seeing the horrible things his people would endure, Daniel was sick on his bed for days. But once he recovered physically, he went about the king’s business. A king whose days, Daniel had been warned, were numbered. After the initial shock, he didn’t let it keep him down. 

A few months to a year after his vision in chapter 8, we find Daniel reading the Word of God, pondering the prophecies in the book of Jeremiah. Jeremiah chapter 25, written before the fall of Jerusalem to Nebuchadnezzar, tells of the Holy City’s imminent demise as well as giving a word of hope. It would be seventy long years, enough time for the corrupt generation of Jewish leaders to die out, but it wouldn’t be forever. At the end of seventy years, God would punish Babylon and allow the Jews to return to their land.

Jeremiah 29, written some eight years after the first wave of captives were taken to Babylon, has more words of comfort for the Jewish diaspora. I’m paraphrasing here, but Jeremiah urges them to settle, grow crops, marry and have families, and to work for the overall good of their new land. In other words, bloom where the Lord planted them. 

Daniel was pondering Jeremiah’s words because by this time, the fall of Babylon had taken place, yet the Jews hadn’t returned to the land. I don’t know if Daniel, himself, hoped to go home. He was over 80 years old by this time, and travel back in the day wasn’t as quick or easy as it is today. But his burden for his people drove him to pray, fasting, in sackcloth and ashes. A long, beautiful prayer of confession for the sins of his people. He recognized that all the evil that had happened to Judah was because the people, their leaders, their priests turned away from the paths of God. He poured out his heart to the Lord, admitting they didn’t deserve anything good because of the shame they brought on themselves. But he implored God to have mercy on them.

Before he finished his prayer, the angel Gabriel appeared to him with answers.

Daniel certainly knew how to bloom where he was planted. He served the kings of Babylon with excellence, and when the Persians took over, he served them with honor and dignity as well. All while maintaining his testimony and his relationship with God intact. It cost him a night in the lion’s den, but God saw that he was justified and taken care of. 

What does all this have to do with the questionable election results in Brazil? To quote another Hebrew captive who rose to prominence in a foreign land, what man intended for evil, God intended for good.

The Bible tells us the nations rage, but God laughs at them. Man can trample the truth, lie, steal and cheat, but in the end, God wins. Which means we, His followers, win by default. The treacherous Persian officials who tried to get Daniel killed ended up meeting the fate they had planned for him. God worked it out that way. Daniel didn’t have to do anything but trust and obey. He went on to serve in the land of his captivity until his death. He never let the injustices of his life’s circumstances keep him from trusting God or from serving the governments that conquered and oppressed his people.

Daniel, his three friends, Hananiah, Azariah and Mishael (better known as Shadrack, Meshack and Abednego) and Joseph are great role models. They were human beings, quite young at the time of the big changes that led them to live captive lives in foreign lands. But they rose above and bloomed where they’d been planted by God, and brought great blessing to those around them. We can too. In the face of injustice. In the face of corruption. In the face of persecution and death.

I allowed myself the space to grieve last night for what this means for Brazil and all those I love who live there. I fell on my knees in tears this morning, asking God why. His still, small voice whispered to me, “Wait and see.” What and how long? I have no idea. But I got up, showered, had breakfast, and I will go about my business as Daniel did in his day. I can do it because I rest in the knowledge that God is in control. I am on the winning side, even if I might not live long enough to see the end of the game.

Get Thee Behind Me, Fear

Psalm 27

The LORD is my light and my salvation;

Whom shall I fear?

The LORD is the strength of my life;

Of whom shall I be afraid?

The first time I remember reading this verse, I was twelve and at camp. I am not by nature a fearful person. Too trusting, some say. But it really resonated with me, so I memorized it and chose it as my life verse. 

As I’ve grown older, become more aware of the dangers in life, I have developed some fears. I’m sure you can relate. The past few years of pandemic, social and political unrest, and economic insecurity weigh heavily, and learning to rest in the Lord can take time and effort. It can be a daily battle.

Enter Psalm 27:1. He is my light and my salvation. He who? The Creator of the universe. The One who gives life and sustains it. And the One who decides when life ends. No one else decides when my life will be over, so who do I need to fear? Even if the worse possible scenario should take place in my life, He will give me the strength to go through it. So why be afraid? 

But let’s not stop at verse one. It’s just the intro to a much deeper psalm, the tip of the iceberg, so to speak.

(Read the full Psalm 27 here.

Imagine your enemies coming for you. They don’t want just a “pound of flesh,” they intend to rip you apart and eat you up. They want you gone without a trace. 

Closer and closer, they race at you. The heat of their wrath burns your neck, their claws rip at your back. You’re done for! Might as well surrender and… 

Suddenly…nothing. No hot, hateful breath on your neck. No claws scratching at your back. You slow your pace. Glance over your shoulder. They’re lying on the ground from a bad fall. Whoo-hoo! Did God trip them? You’re in the clear. But no. Behind them emerges an entire army raging with the same hatred, their eyes red and murderous.

And you fret and take off running calmly praise the Lord and seek the beauty of His face. 

Wait, what? How can you do that? They’re now surrounding you! Why aren’t you running?

The imagery in verse five hails back to the way the army set up camp in King David’s time. The king or general pitched his tent right smack dab in the camp center, with the rest of his army circled around him to keep him safe.

Of course, you’re not afraid! God is your general, so He’s hiding you in His tent (or pavilion in the NKJV version I linked to). All His armies circle around you, and He goes a step further. He sets you up on a high place, one impossible for the enemy to scale to get to you while fighting off God’s army circled around you.

Verse 8 holds the key to how we can have that kind of calm in a fearful situation. “Seek My face,” the Lord says, and the psalmist answers, “Your face, LORD, I will seek.” God protects His own, but we must follow His ways.

The author wraps up with his final thoughts in verse 14:

Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!

Pretty simple. Trust Him to give you the strength you need, and you have no reason to fear.

Book Review: Midnight Blue by Suzie Waltner

When past and present collide, will there be room in their hearts to forgive…and love again?

I was thrilled to receive an advanced reader copy of this book to read. Unfortunately for me, an eye infection, then life in general, kept me from reading it before the release date. But that made me even more eager to get started.

What’s odd about this scenario is, as a history buff, I prefer historical romance to contemporary. I’m also not a huge fan of celebrities as main characters. I was willing to fudge on this one, however, because the hero was a country singer. (I mean, Josh Turner anyone? He’s kinda who I pictured for Jake.) Once able to start turning those pages, I had a hard time putting the book down, even exhausted after a long plane ride overseas. I don’t sleep well on planes, so I was going on three hours of fitful dozing, and once I collapsed in a real bed, had to force myself to set it aside and get some rest. I snapped it up as soon as I could the following day and finished it.

I love stories about second chances, and that might be what attracted me to this one. Author Suzie Waltner did a beautiful job of mixing an entertaining romance with the truth of God’s forgiveness.
One of my favorite lines dealing with this idea of letting go and forgiving came from a supporting character who said, “Don’t let your past steal your future or keep you from love.”

The setting was a lot of fun, too. I love horses and enjoyed being able to escape to a ranch during the time I had to read.

I definitely look forward to more from this author, especially since she’s already introduced us to quite an eclectic cast of characters, begging to tell their own stories.

If you haven’t already, grab your copy of Midnight Blue and get reading.

Find out more on Suzie’s Midnight Blue page on her Website: https://suziewaltner.com/midnight-blue/

Or just head over to Amazon and purchase it: https://www.amazon.com/Midnight-Blue

Are We There Yet?

I went to the doctor yesterday for a yearly checkup. Since it was my first time seeing this doctor, she had all sorts of health questions for me. Without going into details, (I don’t want anyone groaning about TMI) my answer to one of her questions made her stop and ask, “Wait. How old are you?”

I calmly responded that I’ll be 56 next month (Sh! Don’t tell anyone).

She relaxed and said, “Okay, makes sense. You look much younger.”

Naturally, I’ll be going back to her FOREVER. 

When I told my husband, right away he gave me a look. “So you don’t believe it when I tell you that, but you do when a stranger does?” he asked.

I know I look younger than my years. I’ve got good genes. My mom didn’t look her age, either.

Sometimes I don’t feel my age, but the little aches and pains, the age spots that won’t stop multiplying, and the dissipating energy to be more active, show me time is moving me toward my golden years. And that’s okay. I’d rather that than the other option. 

What really shows me I’ve aged is something internal. A longing I didn’t completely understand when I was young.

As a teen, maybe sixteen or seventeen, a young woman in my church told me how wonderful it was to have a husband and a baby. But those of us who were younger and not at that point in life yet, she said, didn’t understand that achieving those things didn’t remove the yearning for something more.

I have passed that stage. My beautiful baby girls are both adults, with one married and out of our home. I now understand what that young mother meant.

No matter how much we achieve in this life, there is always something missing. I’m not talking about a lack of contentment. As much as I complain about the fact that God plopped me in forever summer south Florida when I’m the world’s greatest heat wimp, I am content with my life. Sure, there are things I wish were different. (Other than the heat and humidity outside.) But God has blessed me with so much. 

Then what’s missing?

No matter how good life is on earth, we are not Home. 

We took a trip to upstate NY last month, and we stayed in a quaint little cabin on a lake. LOVED it. “Heaven on earth.” 

View of the lake from the property of the cabin where we vacationed in NY

Yeah, not really. Bugs. And their bites that itched for weeks! (I’m going to guess chiggers. I’ve never had a mosquito bite feel, look like or last that long.) But the scenery…beautiful, and the weather…AMAZING. Not hot, and cool enough to feel like a Floridian winter (I know I said it’s forever summer here, but I’m talking about that one freak day of the year when it drops into the 60s and we pull out our parkas and fuzzy socks and sit outside wrapped in two or more blankets and roast marshmallows over the fire pit). The way we like it.

This earth has so much beauty, a reflection of the creative genius of our God. But it’s not perfect because of sin’s corruption. It’s not Home. At least not yet.

This longing for Heaven, or more specifically, to be in the presence of God, has grown stronger in me. I have no desire to leave this world before God choses to take me. I’m good here for now. But I do long for the time when I no longer have to live with the presence of sin or its effects. I look forward to the time when I stand face to face with my Savior.

While I’m sure there are young people today who also feel that pull, for me, it’s a sign of my maturity. Maybe spiritual more than physical. 

This thought was reinforced today while I was listening to one of my Spotify playlists, and the song, “Where I Belong” by Building 429 came on. The verses speak more to the struggles of this world than what I felt today, but the chorus is spot on.

“All I know is I’m not home yet

This is not where I belong

Take this world and give me Jesus

This is not where I belong.”

We are all on a journey through life. For those of us who are Christians, the best is yet to come.

I’m not usually a fan of the Living Bible, but for this post, I feel that’s the translation which fits best:

For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come.

~ Hebrews 13:14 (New Living Translation)

Link to the song “Where I Belong” on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=he32vwlKQPY

Book Review: Shadows in the Mind’s Eye by Janyre Tromp

When Sam Mattas returns home after serving in World War II, he and his wife hope life will go back to normal. But the ghosts of war haunt Sam, and he and those closest to him begin to question his sanity.

I am a huge fan of World War II history, so when I was given the opportunity to receive an advanced copy of this book, I jumped at the chance. And I’m glad I did.

There are plenty of stories that take place during the war, but this one starts after the victory celebrations are over, and the survivors have to move on and pick up the shattered pieces of their lives.

Shadows in the Mind’s Eye began as a slow burn, with an atmosphere of mystery and suspense that intensified with each chapter. It worked up to a page-turning climax that would have kept me reading until 2 or 3 AM if not for some serious self-control on my part.

Yeah, okay. Self-control had nothing to do with it. I’m a slow reader by nature, taking in every word, every nuance. Which can be frustrating, especially when a story heats up. With this book, it worked to my advantage, allowing me to settle into the story and really spend time with the characters. A few chapters from the end, a pang of regret hit me. If I continued reading into the wee hours, my time with Sam and Annie would be over, and I wanted one more evening with them. I enjoyed my time up the mountain on the Mattas farm and certainly found myself rooting for Sam and Annie to overcome the obstacles they faced.

With two psychologists in my family and another who could have been one, I’m not unaware of the effects of PTSD. But this story helped me see more closely some of the struggles of those who suffer with it, and how it affects those they love. Janyre Tromp dealt with it in a realistic and compassionate way.

This book clearly had a Christian world view, but I would have liked to see the main characters—who questioned if God cared about them when things got rough—show greater recognition of His goodness at the end. It’s hinted at, but it’s not spelled out as clearly as their doubts. But that might be in keeping with the current trend in Christian publishing to avoid preachiness. It did not take away from my enjoyment of the book or the overall message that God is good.

The story is filled with gems of God’s wisdom, most of them the advice and faith of the endearing Dovie May, Sam’s mother. I’ll leave you with one, but you’ll have to read the book to get the rest. 🙂

“The same God who made rainbows and sunshine also made the thunder and lightning…I have to believe He knows what He’s doing.”

Shadows in the Mind’s Eye releases on April 19, 2022. But don’t wait! Preorder now. Click on the title below to go to Janyre’s site to learn more about the book and the author.

Or you can find the book here.

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Shadows-Minds-Eye-Janyre-Tromp/dp/0825447399

Christian Book: https://www.christianbook.com/shadows-in-the-minds-eye-novel/9780825447396/pd/5447396

Barnes and Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/shadows-in-the-minds-eye-janyre-tromp/1139844881

“Lost” … But Not Forgotten

“Every day, in every way, I’m getting better and better.”


Émile Coué, a French psychologist at the beginning of the 20th century, had his patients repeat that phrase in order to propel themselves to self-healing. In the first half of 1914, the general mindset of the western world might have sounded just like that. The booming progress of the 19th century caused the general standard of living to rise. Scientific and technological discoveries made life easier, and advances in medicine helped cure or eradicate many diseases which had devastated the populations of the world. Truly, the world seemed to be getting “better and better” every day.

Then right smack dab in the middle of 1914, a child barely out of diapers (ok, so he was 19…old enough to know better) committed an act that would plunge the world into the most devastating conflict up until that point. A war so destructive that when it ended, that generation thought it could never happen again. They had learned their lesson and took impotent drastic measures to ENSURE it would never happen again.

If you know anything about 20th century history, you might laugh at their idealistic naiveté. Or not since this is no laughing matter. Unfortunately, the “War to End All Wars” was only the beginning of a long string of violent struggles that continues to grow today.

When I first wrote this post, I’d been watching a British comedy about a grumpy country doctor whose aunt was concerned that her friend was possibly getting dementia or Alzheimers. Doc goes to see the old lady, asks her several random questions. I only remember the last one. When did World War II start? November 11, 1918, she responds. Doc and his aunt share a concerned glance. (November 11, 1918, was the day of the armistice to end World War I.) But then the lady goes on to explain her vast understanding of how the vindictive terms of the Treaty of Versailles led to nearly two decades of German struggle and unrest, which culminated in the second, even more disastrous world war that caused the first one to be largely forgotten.

I Thessalonians 5:3 says “While people are saying, ‘Peace and safety,’ destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape.” (NIV) Although I believe this Bible verse is speaking of the end times, the wars of the 20th century are a good foreshadowing of the real war to end all wars. While it appeared in 1914 that life was improving, a far reaching war shatters the illusion. When it ended, people hailed it as the war to end all wars. Measures were taken afterward to ensure peace and safety for the world.

In January of 1920, the League of Nations was formed to provide a place where heads of state could peacefully assemble and work out their grievances. The gathering at the Washington Naval Conference in November 1921 was an early attempt at disarmament. And then in 1928, the Kellogg-Briand Pact, known in other parts of the world as the Pact of Paris, actually attempted to outlaw war. Noble attempts, maybe, but some of the very measures taken to ensure peace would lead to another world war in under 20 years. Just long enough for the children of the first war to come of age to fight…and die…in the second. 

Several summers ago we were in Washington, DC. The fabulous WWII Memorial had opened while we were still living in Brazil, and I hadn’t had a chance yet to see it. We spent some time there, took pictures, sat and soaked up a little of the solemn atmosphere and thought about the sacrifices made by the men and women of that era. We moved along to see the other memorials: Vietnam, Korea, Iwo Jima…but where was the memorial to WWI? We happened to stumble across it, off to the side, surrounded by shrubbery needing to be groomed.

Dirty.

Overgrown.

Forgotten.

My eyes filled with tears when I realized what it was. And I was oddly annoyed that we got so many good shots with no strangers milling about in the background. Usually I grumble and complain (mentally, not out loud) that I can’t seem to get good shots of the places we visit because there are too many stinking tourists (like me) in the way. But not this time. No one else was there.

Forgotten.

Korea has been given the distinction of being the forgotten war, but even that one got a pretty nice national memorial while WWI didn’t have one. What we happened upon was actually a DC specific memorial commemorating DC residents who died in the war.

The generation of WWII has been called “the Greatest Generation”. A well deserved honor, for truly they were great. I don’t think many people my age and younger, as well as a majority of baby boomers, have any idea what the Greatest Generation sacrificed. I used to chafe at being called Generation X. There’s a certain chuckle-worthy ring to Baby Boomers, nobility in being The Greatest, and Millenials sounds so…futuristic and full of hope. But Gen X? A vague, faceless term to describe the youth of the colorful 80s. But hey, at least we weren’t lost. That’s the term used for the WWI generation. A scan through the emptiness of the following decades, the raunchy “Roaring 20s” and the Great Depression that followed in the 30s, is a good indication of just how appropriate that appellation was. But they didn’t start out that way. After all, every day in every way they were getting better and better.

I’m not a psychologist, but I have my theory about why that sad name is so fitting. Like the proverbial ostrich with his head in the sand, the people of the early 20th century were turning a blind eye to the great seas of boiling magma beneath the emotional surface of Europe and the western world. Neo-colonialism; liberty movements of the early and mid 19th centuries, some resolved, most not; extreme nationalism spawned by those same liberty movements, especially the unresolved ones; and the distrust of each other among the European nations which caused some conventional and some not-so-conventional alliances to be formed. This conglomerate of problems would rumble on June 28, 1914, when 19-year-old Serbian “freedom fighter,” Gavrilo Princip, and his buddies took matters into their own hands and assassinated the one man who might have been their greatest ally. It is said the Archduke planned to give more independence to Serbia once he assumed the throne of the Austro-Hungarian empire. There is no telling if that was just a campaign promise that would be ultimately broken, as is the case with most politicians. We will never know since even the option was violently taken away from Franz Ferdinand by an assassin’s bullet.

The volcano rumbled and spat for weeks, then finally exploded a month to the day later on July 28. The world, which had been ambling happily out of the 19th century, was rudely thrust into the tumultuous 20th. One historian put it very succinctly when she said that the men and women of WWI galloped on horseback into the war, and those that survived flew home in airplanes. It’s a war that, more than any other conflict before it or, in my humble opinion, afterward, changed forever the political and emotional landscape of the world.

One hundred and three years ago, today, the Lost Generation ended the war that catapulted them into a new and modern era. We can no longer thank the American veterans of WWI for their service. The last one, Frank Buckles, died in 2011 at the age of 110. He fought for but never saw the fruition of a national memorial to the sacrifices he and his buddies made.

When I decided to update this post for today, I did a search online for a picture of the DC WWI memorial. Instead I discovered that on April 17 of this year, a national WWI monument opened to the public. When I saw pictures of the memorial, I sat and blubbered for a few minutes. (So I’m a cryer. Don’t judge me!) Ten years too late for Frank Buckles, but better late than never. And it proves one thing. Lost…maybe, but not forgotten. At least, not as long as we continue to remember and honor them for their sacrifices.

Happy Veterans Day to all the men and women who served or are serving now to keep our nation safe.

Links:

I tried to upload a few pictures to go with this post, but the system wasn’t allowing it. I’m not sure why. But here are some links to pictures of the DC WWI memorial before and after it was refurbished, and one to the site for the new National WWI memorial.

This page has photos of the DC WWI Memorial before it was refurbished. Very similar to what I saw on my visit. https://www.kruzanphotography.com/kruzanphotography/world-war-1-memorial-washington-dc-apr-2008

This site has a picture of the refurbished DC WWI Memorial https://www.worldwar1centennial.org/index.php/communicate/press-media/wwi-centennial-news/4140-district-of-columbia-national-guard-commemorates-world-war-i-throughout-2018.html

This is the site for the National WWI Memorial. https://www.worldwar1centennial.org/honor/national-wwi-memorial.html



Flying

bird bird of prey adler raptor
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Have you ever had a dream? You went full throttle ahead with it only to hit a massive brick wall? How did that make you feel? (Don’t you hate it when reporters ask questions like that to people who have just experienced great tragedy?) The question is almost rhetorical. I don’t have to hear your answer. I know what it is. Discouraged. Disillusioned. Anyone can relate to broken dreams.

I just read James Scott Bell’s book, Write Your Novel from the Middle. He talks about this moment in a well-written story where the MC takes a good look in the mirror and sees himself for what he is. He then has to make a decision about where to go next. Mr. Bell says this mirror moment is what the novel is all about, the main point the author is trying to make, and it almost always takes place in the middle of the story.

My youngest daughter got me hooked on the music of a young and very talented artist named Cody Fry. (Thanks, Shannon!) His music is amazing. As with all my favorite musicians, he has a handful of songs I love most. One is titled “Flying.”

This musical masterpiece tells a story of a very unhappy young man. His dreams of flying are so shattered he can’t even find his wings. He gives in to negative voices telling him, “Your dream is a lie, no one on earth can fly.” In his discontent, he lashes out and, like many of us, blames the one who told him he only had to believe. He questions his faith. Did it let him down or did he just not have enough? In the midst of lashing out again, he questions, “Was it even you I listened to?” It’s no longer, “You said if I believed…” Now it’s, “I thought if I believed enough…” He’s taken the leap, and he thinks he’s about to crash and die. Then…whoosh! The instrumental crescendo is amazing. Makes me tear up every time because of how majestic it is. I’m an eagle soaring through the clouds, above the storm. I feel the wind in my face. Our protagonist sees that, whoa! He’s flying! His dream has come true.

But wait. How is he flying? He closes his eyes while the one he once blamed lifts him up. He’s still not flying on his own, but he’s enjoying the dream. And in the very last line, he now gives credit to the one who first encouraged him. “You said if I believed enough, I would fly.” The same line used in blame is now used in thanksgiving and recognition.

This is one of the most inspiring songs I’ve heard in a long time. I don’t know the author’s intent or the story behind it, I don’t know who the “you” in the song represents. My first thought was a parent. Moms and dads tend to tell their children they can do anything, be anything they want to be if they believe it enough. We think we’re doing them a favor, empowering them. And then idealistic kids with their heads full of dreams hit the real world. Ouch. Sobering.

Side note: no hate mail, please. I do not condemn parents who encourage their kids. But if that is not tempered with advice about how hard achieving success is, it can be disastrous and lead to self-doubt, pity, bitterness…and the list goes on.

Back to flying. My daughter interpreted the song her way. She took it to be a conversation with God. Because Who lifts us up so we can fly? A human parent can’t do that, only God can. And as much as I wanted to agree with her, I thought, God never tells us we just have to believe enough and we’ll be able to fly or (fill in with dream goal)

Ah, but the Bible does say if we have the faith of a mustard seed, we can move mountains. (Matthew 17:20; Luke 17:6). And Isaiah 40:31 says those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength and mount up with wings like eagles. When that verse hit me in the middle of pondering the lyrics to “Flying”, I started to cry. Yes, literally. So ok, I do cry at the drop of a hat, but these were good tears. What a realization!

I don’t know if Cody Fry believes in God. I sure hope he does because I’d love to dance on the streets of gold with him someday. But the way his song speaks to me now matches my daughter’s thinking. God lifts us up. It doesn’t mean He gives us everything we want. But He does promise that, if we are in tune with Him, which would mean our desires line up with His, He will give us the desires of our hearts. (Psalm 37:4)

But wait. What does any of this have to do with Bell’s book? I’m glad you asked. Since I just read it and am in the process of putting his advice into practice, I couldn’t help but measure the song and see where the mirror moment took place. The song is 3:58 minutes long, and the self-realization takes place around 1:53. Yep. It’s right about the middle of the song. 

Note: I don’t get anything for suggesting you listen to this song or look up James Scott Bell’s book. I just wanted to share.

Links to Cody Fry’s “Flying”

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/2IsBpMTE5ht4vsPGEFD5Fc?si=0afcf9c6549d48e4

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLVIjdDfECQ

Link to James Scott Bell’s book https://www.amazon.com/Write-Your-Novel-Middle-Approach/dp/0910355118

Evidence

Tuesday, September 7, 2021 

I sit at the table in a little ski cabin in North Carolina we rented for some much-needed R&R. As I gaze out the picture windows, the mountains and forest beyond smile back at me. The weather is perfect. Not hot. Not really cold, although it was chilly this morning…for the Floridian I’ve apparently become. There is nothing pressing. No cakes to bake, no flowers to arrange, no card designs to put together. Just peace and quiet. 

Strange. 

This past Sunday, the culmination of months of planning took place, and my first baby girl was married. I’ve gained a wonderful son, and I couldn’t be happier for the two of them. 

As I sit here surrounded by the beauty of God’s creation and reflect on the past couple of weeks, I can’t help but see His loving hand. God gave me a nudge earlier as I was having coffee on the veranda, admiring the mountains and listening to music. One line in particular stood out as the song “Evidence” by Josh Baldwin played.

“I see the evidence of Your goodness all over my life…”

I don’t know the rest of the lyrics. That’s all I heard. I suppose those words were all I needed to hear, because that was the point God wanted me to take to heart. 

Though happy about the wedding and the joy of my daughter, we are physically and emotionally exhausted. We’ve been through a lot in the past month. So have many people. In fact, there are others who have been through or are going through much worse. I know that, and it is sobering. Maybe that should lessen my struggle, but it doesn’t.

This past August 13 marked the five-year anniversary of my mother’s passing. Though I will always miss her, I praise the Lord she’s with Him and doesn’t have to see the world of today. She has no hurts or concerns. She’s never heard of covid. But August 13 now marks even more grief. The father of a friend of my girls, a man who served in a church we used to attend, lost his hard-fought battle against Covid on that day. I couldn’t understand it. Why, God? I asked. 

That same day, one of the chaplains who worked under my husband, who had come down with covid the week before, was admitted to the hospital. He was doing okay—or so we thought. I was sure he would pull through. We all thought he would. But on August 27, covid claimed him as yet another of its victims. It gutted me. Maybe it shouldn’t have—he’s in a better place—but I prayed so hard. On my knees, multiple times a day, with tears. So many others prayed just as hard. I was sure…up until the last minute…that God was going to perform a miracle and save our friend. Yes, He healed him…by taking him to Heaven. Fr. Andrew was a devoted chaplain in the hospital, ministering to patients, many of whom were sick with this plague. That is probably where he contracted the disease despite taking all precautions. 

On Wednesday we attended Fr. Andrew’s funeral. So many other grief-stricken people were there, mourning his death yet celebrating his life. He was only fifty years old. A vibrant personality who lit up the room as soon as he walked in. With so many plans. Such a strong will to live and serve the God he loved. I couldn’t seem to stanch my grief. Nor could I stem the question running through my mind. Why? Where was God’s protection for a man serving Him, who hoped to continue doing so for many years? Why didn’t God show His power and glory by bringing him back from the brink of death? I had expected a miracle.

The day after the funeral, we hit the road for DeLand, Florida, where we rented a house that became our wedding headquarters. It was lovely, built in 1912, paradise for a history buff like me. And peaceful. The perfect place for all our preparations. When I say it was peaceful, the house and neighborhood were. But inside was a beehive of activity. Cake baking, flower arranging, details with DJ being worked out, steaming out wrinkles in dresses and suits, and…and…and…. 

All the craziness was worth it. What a blessed wedding day. Dark clouds and rumors of showers early on dissipated to beautiful blue skies. One of my greatest concerns leading up to the wedding (and an outside ceremony) was blistering heat. I’m the world’s greatest heat wimp, and Florida is, well, hot and sticky. But we had perfect weather. The humidity was down, and though the day was warm, a nice breeze made itself a VERY welcomed guest. God’s gifts to us. There were a few glitches overall—sound muted for those attending through zoom, a veil that didn’t want to stay in place, and a few other goofs that someday we’ll laugh about. But what a wonderful day. My daughter glowed with happiness, and I got to visit with some dear friends I haven’t seen in years. We were able to put aside the grief and thoughts of our recent personal tragedy and enjoy our daughter’s important day. 

Monday rolled around with another flurry of activity, packing, cleaning our rented house and hitting the road for the mountains. After a long day on the road, we collapsed in foreign beds and slept like rocks with no time to revisit the grief of loss. But this quiet Tuesday morning brought back the memories. And the tears.  

So here I sit in contemplation, surrounded by the peace and quiet of nature. Resting and relaxing. And yes, enjoying this moment of reprieve God has gifted us.

I still have questions. I will never understand why God took these two servants. But then, I don’t have to understand it. I’ve come to accept that. God has a greater purpose than my tunnel-visioned expectations. He still sits on the throne. He’s greater than covid or corrupt government or flawed medical practices. And I really do see the evidence of His goodness all over my life. In big details like a wonderful new son-in-law who cannot wipe from his facial expressions the depth of his love for my daughter. And the corresponding joy on her face. Like long-lasting, sister friends. Even in little details like pleasant weather. And quiet mountain scenes. And the words from a song I’d forgotten I’d saved in my Spotify list. And healing. But I guess that’s one of the big details.

I could keep on presenting my evidence, but we have mountain trails to explore and waterfalls to discover.

View from ski cabin veranda

Beauty and the Mona Lisa Smile

Have you ever wondered about the woman from da Vinci’s most famous painting? Who was she? Theories abound and range from a princess to an unknown courtesan, to Vinci’s mother, to his self-portrait.

Wait. What? Self-portrait? Isn’t Lisa a girl? There are some who look at Lisa and think she has masculine features. I didn’t think so, but after learning a little more about beauty standards in 15th and 16th century Italy, it made a little sense. Not much, but a little. 

Lisa has a normal sized forehead. No bangs, but not so wide that it looks as if she has a receding hair line. Women of the Renaissance wanted wide foreheads, and if they didn’t have one naturally, which most women didn’t, they would pluck out the hair around their faces in order to get that look. Hair was considered a bad thing for women. They would pluck their eyebrows either completely or to a very fine line. Some snipped off their eyelashes if they were too long. Huh? I thought long eyelashes were a part of a woman’s charm. 

It goes back to the “science” of the era. Men were “hot and dry” and women were “cold and wet”. Don’t ask. Remember, this was a bridge period, a transition from centuries of Medieval superstitions to the modern age of increasing knowledge. Hot and dry—masculinity—bred hair. Cold and wet—femininity—didn’t. If a woman had too much hair anywhere on her body but the back of her head, she might be overlooked for a good marriage because she would be seen as too hot and dry, or masculine, to be a good baby oven. Ah, but Lisa has no eyebrows or eyelashes that we can see. So maybe she was a lady and not a man. Or maybe over cleaning of the portrait through the years removed the paint where eyebrows and eyelashes had been? It’s a theory, but I don’t buy it. Yet another theory is that the attention-deficit da Vinci never finished the portrait. Seems unlikely as well. 

Another clue is her hair color. I used to think Lisa’s hair was dark brown. And maybe it was. Naturally. But closer inspection reveals the hair under the veil has a reddish or auburn tint. The kind of red that dark hair might take on from being in the sun for long periods of time. 

Another beauty requirement for Renaissance women was blond hair. Before you get a mental picture of a bunch of chubby Renaissance beauties sitting around outside sunbathing in their linen shifts, faces turned toward the sun and soaking up its warmth, remember tanned skin was not considered beautiful. The more pale the skin, the better. Women would use lead based white make-up to give their skin that perfect, pale porcelain doll look. This make-up didn’t just clog their pores and give them a little acne if they didn’t clean it off at the end of the day. No, this stuff was poisonous and often ate holes in the skin of their faces. Some women used more lead paint to cover up the holes, and made the holes deeper. Some women died of lead poisoning. All because they wanted to live up to an unreasonable standard of beauty. I guess we haven’t progressed all that far in 500 years, huh? Lead paint might be out, but women, young and old, continue to do horrible things to their bodies in order to live up to a standard that few, if any, women fit naturally. But I’m rabbit trailing. Or soap boxing. Sort of. 

To get that beautiful blond hair without access to Walgreens for a box of hair bleach, and without acquiring the dark skin staying in the sun too long can cause, our Renaissance predecessors spent hours in the sun wearing a crownless hat with a wide brim, which covered their faces but allowed the hair to be exposed to the sun. Sometimes they wore a cape that hung down from the hat and covered their entire bodies. I mean, God forbid they get a little color on their hands. Especially since delicate and feminine (pale) hands were also a thing of beauty to be admired in the perfect Renaissance woman. As a person who does not like the heat, hates to sweat unless I’m exercising, the thought of sitting under a blanket for hours in full sun, waiting for my hair to lighten to a lovely blond is truly torturous. But that’s what they did. Well, the rich ones who had the kind of time to sit around and do nothing but sweat. 

Maybe Lisa didn’t have large amounts of free time to sit out in the sun. But maybe when the baby was sleeping and she had a few moments to put her feet up, she would sit outside so her hair could soak up some of those hair-lightening rays. Her lovely raven locks turned, not to orange blond, but to auburn. Another clue that maybe, just maybe, she was a woman and not a man, since men didn’t have the same unnatural beauty requirements and were allowed to have brown or black hair. 

Lisa’s oblong but full face gives us another clue. Here is one instance where the women had it easier than the men. I know! Finally. Women were supposed to be a little fuller figured. Soft curves and rounded bellies were in. Just look at Botticelli’s women if you don’t believe me. Those dome shaped bellies were seen as symbols of fertility. If a woman was too skinny, she might be passed up for a good marriage arrangement because she would be seen as too scrawny or too fragile to bear children. Men, on the other hand, were supposed to be tall, slim, athletic, toned. I mean, tight tights. Lisa’s full face, rounded shoulders, and chubby white hands indicate a fuller figure, which also points to her being a woman. Some believe she was actually pregnant at the time, that the painting was commissioned to commemorate the birth of a child. I’m convinced she was a woman. 

So who was this lady? Way back in 1550, Giorgio Vasari, an art historian of the era, identified her as Lisa Gherardini del Giocondo. Francesco del Giocondo was a silk merchant from Florence, wealthy enough to commission a painting of his wife from the famous Leonardo da Vinci. Vasari’s identification, however, was made decades after the portrait’s commissioning, and this identity was argued through the centuries. Until six hundred or so years after Lisa posed for her portrait. In 2005, a note was discovered from an acquaintance of da Vinci’s stating he had been working on Lisa’s portrait. Some contend it, but most current art historians seem to agree the Mona Lisa truly is the portrait of Lisa del Giocondo. 

A number of the Renaissance beauties immortalized in da Vinci’s, Botticelli’s and other famous painters of the time died early or tragically. Simonetta Vespucci, Botticelli’s Venus, comes to mind. But that doesn’t seem to have been Lisa’s case. 

At age fifteen she married a man who was quite a bit older—not uncommon at the time. Her family was an old aristocratic family that seems to have lost its influence and a good deal of its wealth by the time of her marriage. Since marriages were often arrangements made to bring wealth or prestige, nobility or even peace to the two families involved, the fact Lisa’s dowry wasn’t that large leads many to believe she actually was in love with the man she married. Her family name might have brought him prestige since it was an old, noble family name. But it’s nice to think that, in a time when men sought wives for social status and wealth, and mistresses for love and lust, maybe Lisa was one of those blessed women who actually married for love. I like to think so. Francesco’s own words seem to attest to his love for his wife. In his will, he made sure she would be well taken care of upon his death. And to reinforce that, he wrote the following to his children:

“Given the affection and love of the testator towards Mona Lisa, his beloved wife; in consideration of the fact that Lisa has always acted with a noble spirit and as a faithful wife; wishing that she shall have all she needs…”

There is some argument over when Lisa died. Some say she died of the plague at age 63. Others contend—and this is the one I choose to believe—she died at the ripe old age of 71, cared for by her daughter Marietta, a respected member of the highly regarded Florentine convent of Sant’Orsola.

Lisa’s life may have been comfortable, but it wasn’t all fun and games. She suffered the tragedy of losing a child, a baby daughter, in 1499. And then her eldest daughter, Camilla, died young at age 18. She outlived her husband, and I’m sure his passing was not easy for her. 

All in all, it’s nice to think that the Mona Lisa smile isn’t really all that enigmatic, and certainly not sad. I see a middle class woman who fit neither the extreme beauty standards of her day nor ours, but who was happy or at least content with the life she had been granted. She had a husband who loved her, and though not as wealthy as the Medici, lived a financially comfortable life and died knowing she had been loved. 

Knowing all this about Mona Lisa gives me a whole new perspective on the painting. I can relate to Lisa. Although I don’t fit the standards of beauty our Hollywood-dictating media imposes on women and girls, I have a husband and two daughters who love me. We live comfortably, and I’m sure when I’m old, if I cannot fend for myself, my girls will step in and take care of me till my dying breath. I think that’s worth more than living up to unrealistic beauty standards.

*This post was originally published on my blog at blogspot on July 17, 2017.

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