Have you ever wondered what it was about Sarah, Rebekah or Rachel that made their husbands fall head over heels in love with them? Why did Elkanah prefer barren Hannah over Peninnah, the wife who bore him plenty of children? We know Esther’s beauty caught the king’s eye, but what made him favor her to the point of allowing her people, captives and slaves, to fight his to save themselves? Joseph was a righteous man, but what was it about Mary that caused him to want to “put her away quietly” instead of humiliating her when he, himself, must have been embarrassed to discover she was pregnant outside of wedlock? And why, in a male-dominated society, did the apostle Paul mention Priscilla together with her husband Aquila?

Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel and Esther were all described as beautiful. They naturally turned men’s heads and drew attention to themselves for something that wasn’t necessarily their own doing. But looks fade with time. There must have been something more about these women that kept their husbands’ love and attention.

Sarah (Genesis chapters 12 – 23)

When God told Abraham to leave Ur, the home where he and Sarah had grown up, Abraham packed everything and left. Sarah might not have had much of a choice in the matter, but I imagine she rolled up her sleeves and packed the bags. She was a barren woman, and in an age when bearing plenty of children was part of a woman’s worth, Abraham valued her and did not take a second wife, as their culture allowed. If she had a negative spirit, always complaining about “Why’d you have to move us so far from all we know?” Abraham might have been quick to take on that second wife. 

They stopped part way to the Promised Land and set up camp for some time in Haran. We don’t know how long they stayed there, but it might have been just enough time for her to get settled when Abraham pulled up roots again and moved them to the land of Canaan.

I’m supposing here, I have no biblical passages to back me up, but Sarah and Abraham likely had a stable home in Ur of the Chaldees, which was a thriving city at the time. For an urban girl, born and bred, to have to slip into a nomadic life couldn’t have been easy. But she did it.

A wife’s support is vital to a man. The saying that behind every great man is a strong woman isn’t just a cliché. A wife can make or break her husband. The Bible has examples of wives who were not good influences on their husbands, and both paid the price. Jezebel and Ahab, Ananias and Saphira come to mind. 

Sarah wasn’t perfect, and she made some VERY poor choices in her long life. She would have done well to put her foot down and say no when Abraham asked her to lie and say she wasn’t his wife but his sister to protect his life. Twice!  She would have spared herself a lot of heartache if she’d trusted God to keep His word rather than push another woman into the arms of her husband. But despite her faults, she was a good, submissive wife, and when she passed, Abraham mourned for her and went to a bit of trouble to have her buried in a decent place. 

The New Testament has good things to say about Sarah, too. In Hebrews 11 she is called faithful. She was given God’s power to conceive in her old age because she believed in Him. No, that’s not a contradiction. Yes, she took things into her own hands and regretted it forever after. But she came to understand God’s will and trusted Him to keep His word. And reaped the rewards of it by having a beloved son for the final 40 years of her life. 

1 Peter 3:6 also praises Sarah. It says she “obeyed Abraham and called him her lord.” This passage might be hard to swallow for some women today. The words obey and submission send chills down the spines of many. That’s because biblical submission is misunderstood and misinterpreted by the world, and unfortunately, by some who belong to Christ as well.

Being a submissive wife does not mean being a doormat to be trampled. Nowhere in Sarah’s story do we see an abused, cowering woman. Submission is not weakness. Do you know how much self-control it takes to submit to another human being? Jesus, the God-man, the only Person to have the power to bring Himself back from death, willingly submitted Himself to God the Father. He also willingly submitted Himself to humans and allowed them to take His life. It wouldn’t have happened if He didn’t want it to.

The same concept is described in 1 Peter 3:6. A wife is very much an equal to her husband as far as her worth before God and her importance in the relationship. But a godly wife, like Sarah, willingly agrees to take the role of follower for the good of the family. And out of obedience to the Lord.

Ephesians 5:22-26 lays out the way things should be in a marriage. A wife is to submit herself to her husband as she would to the Lord. Some folks like to stop there and put all the burden on the woman, but a few verses down, the passage says a husband should love his wife as Christ loved the church. To the point he’s willing to give his life for her. Whoa. Can you imagine a world where every husband loved his wife with that much fervor?

In my view, it’s a happy cycle. If a husband is following God’s mandates and loves his wife that sacrificially, his wife will gain respect for him. If she knows he has her back, she’ll have an easier time submitting to him. In turn, her respect and submission will fill him with more love for her. And the more he loves her, the more she’ll love and respect him. It’s a win-win situation. But then, isn’t God’s way always a winning strategy?

Tune in on Monday for our next romantic heroine. Hannah.