I went to the doctor yesterday for a yearly checkup. Since it was my first time seeing this doctor, she had all sorts of health questions for me. Without going into details, (I don’t want anyone groaning about TMI) my answer to one of her questions made her stop and ask, “Wait. How old are you?”

I calmly responded that I’ll be 56 next month (Sh! Don’t tell anyone).

She relaxed and said, “Okay, makes sense. You look much younger.”

Naturally, I’ll be going back to her FOREVER. 

When I told my husband, right away he gave me a look. “So you don’t believe it when I tell you that, but you do when a stranger does?” he asked.

I know I look younger than my years. I’ve got good genes. My mom didn’t look her age, either.

Sometimes I don’t feel my age, but the little aches and pains, the age spots that won’t stop multiplying, and the dissipating energy to be more active, show me time is moving me toward my golden years. And that’s okay. I’d rather that than the other option. 

What really shows me I’ve aged is something internal. A longing I didn’t completely understand when I was young.

As a teen, maybe sixteen or seventeen, a young woman in my church told me how wonderful it was to have a husband and a baby. But those of us who were younger and not at that point in life yet, she said, didn’t understand that achieving those things didn’t remove the yearning for something more.

I have passed that stage. My beautiful baby girls are both adults, with one married and out of our home. I now understand what that young mother meant.

No matter how much we achieve in this life, there is always something missing. I’m not talking about a lack of contentment. As much as I complain about the fact that God plopped me in forever summer south Florida when I’m the world’s greatest heat wimp, I am content with my life. Sure, there are things I wish were different. (Other than the heat and humidity outside.) But God has blessed me with so much. 

Then what’s missing?

No matter how good life is on earth, we are not Home. 

We took a trip to upstate NY last month, and we stayed in a quaint little cabin on a lake. LOVED it. “Heaven on earth.” 

Yeah, not really. Bugs. And their bites that itched for weeks! (I’m going to guess chiggers. I’ve never had a mosquito bite feel, look like or last that long.) But the scenery…beautiful, and the weather…AMAZING. Not hot, and cool enough to feel like a Floridian winter (I know I said it’s forever summer here, but I’m talking about that one freak day of the year when it drops into the 60s and we pull out our parkas and fuzzy socks and sit outside wrapped in two or more blankets and roast marshmallows over the fire pit). The way we like it.

This earth has so much beauty, a reflection of the creative genius of our God. But it’s not perfect because of sin’s corruption. It’s not Home. At least not yet.

This longing for Heaven, or more specifically, to be in the presence of God, has grown stronger in me. I have no desire to leave this world before God choses to take me. I’m good here for now. But I do long for the time when I no longer have to live with the presence of sin or its effects. I look forward to the time when I stand face to face with my Savior.

While I’m sure there are young people today who also feel that pull, for me, it’s a sign of my maturity. Maybe spiritual more than physical. 

This thought was reinforced today while I was listening to one of my Spotify playlists, and the song, “Where I Belong” by Building 429 came on. The verses speak more to the struggles of this world than what I felt today, but the chorus is spot on.

“All I know is I’m not home yet

This is not where I belong

Take this world and give me Jesus

This is not where I belong.”

We are all on a journey through life. For those of us who are Christians, the best is yet to come.

I’m not usually a fan of the Living Bible, but for this post, I feel that’s the translation which fits best:

For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come.

~ Hebrews 13:14 (New Living Translation)

Link to the song “Where I Belong” on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=he32vwlKQPY